How I got Engaged On Dia's Birthday

Dia's 21st Birthday Minutes

6(ish)- Kids meet at Mellow Mushroom for delicious Pizza. Dia's chair is adorned with obnoxiously large balloons that embarrass her.

8- Pizza is all eaten, we head downtown to collect legal drinks. Dia gets the traditional free T-shirt that proclaims she celebrated her 21st at Tigertown Tavern

[Sidenote: I just discovered that the cold pizza I found in my fridge and am now eating is stuffed crust. Heaven!]

Dia has a martini called a "French Kiss". Many pictures are taken, jokes are made, fun is had by all.

8:25- Someone talks about the cherries in Dia's drink and if anyone can tie a knot in a cherry stem with their tongue. Dia claims that Abby can. I have no recollection of attempting this feat since the 9th grade. No matter, the table is a tizzy. Chris Adams proclaims that if I can do this, he will marry me.

8:35- Turns out I can do that. Chris proposes. More pictures. Drinks all around.

9:00- Relocate to Dia's. Open presents. None are a puppy despite suspicion. Beer Pong, Cake, Wine

11:30- Abby's new husband takes her home. Abby passes out almost instantly.

And that was Dia's Birthday/My engagement

A Dead Puppy Named Megatron- A Dia's Birthday Tribute

Dia's birthday is Monday. Her mom said she was sending a gift that would arrive Friday and Dia absolutely must pick it up Friday. No waiting around until Monday.

This leads to some speculating on what the gift could be. It must be perishable if there is such urgency about the pickup. Cookies? Fruit? Liquor? (ok, liquor won't go bad over the weekend, but it would be a shame to leave it.) Dia for some reason says, "What if its a puppy?!" Because Dia needs a puppy and her mom would totally send it FedEx.

So now there is a lot of giggling about going to the post office and getting a box with holes on top that's wiggling. The postal workers would be amused by the puppy that got mailed in from Chicago. Or maybe the package wouldn't be wiggling. What if the puppy didn't make it?!? The trip is long and hard and the puppy is so small and fragile.

After long discussions as to the likelihood of Dia's mom actually sending her a puppy, we go to the post office. Dia fills out the little package pickup card while we continue to debate the puppy situation. Dia hands in the card and the post office lady makes a face. "Oh! This one..." Our shock leads us to tell her about the feared dead puppy situation at hand. She's enigmatic. She neither confirms nor denies our suspicions. She merely disappears into the back.

Dia (my dear girl being the most gullible person on earth) is now genuinely starting to panic about the incoming canine. What would she do with a puppy? Her mom wouldn't send her a puppy! I idly suggest she names the pup Megatron. Seems like a nice name for a cross-country pup. We now collapse in giggles at the mental image of Dia cuddling a tiny ball of fur named Megatron.

The lady peeks around the corner and tells Dia to shut her eyes. She then places a box in front of her. Its not moving! Little Megatron must be dead! Dia opens her eyes.

Flowers. A tall bouquet by Todd Oldham. Not a puppy. I say, "Too bad, Megatron would have been such a nice dog."
The post office lady looks at us in horror saying, "You were going to name your puppy 'Megatron'?" She now thinks we're unfit pet owners.

I still think Megatron is a nice name.

Happy Birthday Dia!