Canada, Eskimos, Potatoes.

Dia and Abby Talk Online

*Sorry about the internet jargon.

Dia: What time are you finished with class tomorrow?
Abby: well. 2:30, but i have a group meeting at 3 and the only time i can meet my engr group might be like 7. but i'm going to try and get them to change it.
Dia: I was going to try to get you to go to the greenville mall with me
Abby: oh yeah i so dont have time for that.
Dia: I'll just have to shop alone. Hah. It's okay, I'm a woman on a mission
Abby: what are you after?
Dia: You might cringe, but I hope not
Abby: y?
Dia: Ugg boots, but they are embroidered up the sides
Abby: why?!?! what purpose could such boots possibly serve?
Dia: they're warm and cute
Dia: i know, i normally don't like them, but I tried them on with my mom...
Dia: at her suggestion
Abby: wrong. not cute. you live in south carolina, not eskimo country.
Dia: But people in south carolina pretend they're in eskimo country
Dia: I kind of want to be a cute eskimo
Abby: move to canada.
Dia: i can speak their language
Dia: Are there eskimos there?
Abby: of course. where there is tundra there are eskimos.
Dia: There is tundra in Canada?
Dia: I just thought there were canadians.
Dia: And Geese.
Abby: the whole thing is like a giant glacier.
Dia: What!!
Dia: Since when?
Dia: How do people live there?
Abby: THEY'RE ESKIMOS!!!!!!!!!
Dia: LOL
Dia: I don't believe you.
Dia: I've never seen a candian where a big furry coat.
Abby: wear.
Abby: you've never seen a canadian.
Dia: Yes I have, Linda (Kristof's wife) is a canadian
Dia: Well, now american
Abby: living in, survey says: California! not an icy rock at all.
Dia: But I met them in Hawaii.
Abby: oh my gosh. can't you just buy some cute boots with fur lining that are respectable? for the sake of our friendship?
Dia: this is going to jeapordize our friendship!!? They're just warm and fuzzy and comforting, like mashed potatoes for your feet.
Abby: i'm eating mashed potatoes right now.
Dia: Oh yum!
Dia: Put them on your feet!
Abby: ew! no.
Dia: Then you'll know what I mean.
Dia: Warm, comforting, and make you feel good.
Abby: other boots can do that and not make me hate you.

About here Abby recieves a message from Ben and this conversation commences:

Ben: i'm so cold right now it's amazing
Abby: put some mashed potatoes on your feet.
Ben: mashed potatoes?
Abby: its a long story.
Abby: why are you cold?
Ben: halloween
Ben: i was sitting on the porch handing out candy
Abby: ah. were you not dressed as an eskimo?
Ben: sadly no
Ben: i could have used a fur collar
Ben: i did, however, have coffee with bailey's
Abby: oh! now that warms you from the inside out. good stuff.
(Lauren- Its fate!)

Back to me and Dia

Dia: I don't have to wear socks under these boots.
Dia: In fact, I'm directed not to!
Abby: what?!?! you're just going to stick your bare feet down in your steamy boots?
Dia: I prefer the word "cozy" to "steamy"
Dia: They're not exactly like mashed potatoes
Abby: well if you go inside where its warm your feet will get hot and sweat all up in your boots and then they will smell yucky and breed fungus and you'll die.
Dia: I'll die from my feet up?
Dia: Doesn't fungus take a while to incubate?
Abby: well once you're in your cozy shoes you'll probably get used to them and you will go soft and wear them every day and then quickly die.
Abby: is it worth it?!?! is it?!?!?
Dia: ...maybe if I can eat mashed potatoes while I wear them. And you call me an eskimo.
Abby: i will, but over the phone as I will be unwilling to be seen with you in public.
Dia: No way! You're not going to be with me in public!? I've worn worse in the past!
Abby: yes and we've broken you of that haven't we?
Dia: ...I still keep a pair of birkenstocks at home for safe keeping.
Abby: are you trying to drive me away now?
Dia: You're not in my death mobile, I'm not driving you anywhere!
Abby: yarg!

I don't know what to do. Somebody call Stacey and Clinton.